“We overfunction when we do for others what they can and should do for themselves. Overfunctioners prevent people, including themselves, from growing up. The street, however, runs both ways. Wherever you find an overfunctioner, an underfunctioner inevitably follows close behind. Overfunctioning dangerously imperils friendships, marriages, churches, workplaces, and families.”
This concept of over and underfunctioning comes from the book The Emotionally Healthy Woman by: Geri and Pete Scazzero. Geri’s husband Pete founded the New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, New York City and her book is the story of how she gave things up to become the person God intended for her to be, rather than be what everyone else wanted her to be.
She discovered living this way does not serve your family, church, community or yourself well and she knew she needed to ‘quit.’ One of the behaviors she needed to quit was ‘Quit Overfunctioning’ – chapter six. Here is how she helps you discover if this is something you struggle with and why it’s so important to surrender. In the book she also shares what to do after you quit overfunctioning, steps to help you and those around to adjust and succeed with this change.
You maybe an overfunctioner if three or more of these statements are true for you:
I generally know the right ways to do things.
I move in quickly to advise or fix things lest they fall apart.
I have difficultly allowing others to struggle with their own problems.
In the long run, it is simply easier to do things myself.
I don’t trust others to do as good as job as I can.
I often do what is asked of me, even if I am already overloaded.
I don’t like to rock the boat, so I cover for others’ shortcomings.
Other people describe me as “stable” and as always “having it together.”
I don’t like asking for help because I don’t want to be a burden.
I like to be needed.
Why should you work towards eliminating overfunctioning behavior from your life? Here are five reasons why:
– Overfunctioning breeds resentment
– Overfunctioning perpetuates immaturity
– Overfunctioning prevents you from focusing on your life’s calling
– Overfunctioning erodes your spiritual life
– Overfunctioning destroys community
This is a wonderful book that challenges you to consider your shortcomings, control issues, your feelings and emotions as well as how they affect your relationship with Jesus and those around you. There is even small group/Bible Study material for The Emotionally Healthy Woman – click HERE.