I have this ongoing conversation with my girlfriends about certain moments that make us feel like adults. Whenever one of us have experienced an adult moment and we’re together, this conversation resurfaces. We typically discuss shallow moments because they are amusing and easier to talk about than the real adults moments we’ve experienced. Like: heart failure, financial struggles, life changing decisions, losing jobs, broken relationships etc. Believe me, we talk and pray about those things, but we enjoy the comradery and laughter shared when one of us says, we feel like an adult today because we bravely told our hair stylist, no, this is not what I had in mind.
A milestone I thought would be the final key to unlock the door to adulthood was marriage. But after I married at age 30, I realized I have been an adult for a longtime but was in denial about it. Church culture and society didn’t help me during my mid-twenties by keeping me in the college age community groups when I should have been transitioning into community groups with families and others my age and older, or by not asking me to provide a dish at events – what? are only wives and mothers able to bake and cook? or constantly trying to set me up. Maybe I wasn’t the only one in denial about my adultness?
SPOILER ALERT: Getting married doesn’t turn you into an adult. It’s an adult thing to do, yes, it’s a lifelong decision that should never be taken lightly or without responsibility, commitment, prayer and deep love. But it doesn’t turn you into an adult. You’ve been adulting for sometime now, friend. Or if you’re a youngin, you’re on your way, but marriage doesn’t equal being an adult.
If you’re getting married to start your adult life – you might be doing it wrong.
I’ve seen myself and others do the, “I’ll (fill in the blank) when I’m married” routine and I’d like to advise those that are waiting, don’t wait:
Don’t wait to start living
Don’t wait to travel overseas
Don’t wait to move cross country
Don’t wait to pursue your dreams
Don’t wait to buy quality kitchen appliances
Don’t wait to go into training
Don’t wait to take that job
Don’t wait to buy nice bed linens
Don’t wait for the church to create something for you, do it, pursue it yourself
A wise married person once told me, “Find your ministry, then you’ll find your marriage.” If that is God’s plan for you.
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10
Don’t wait to do the good things God has planned for you, start living His plan for you now.