Embracing Suffering by Ann Beaulieu
2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.
Suffering has been a part of my life for so long that I’ve stopped counting the years. In 2001 I was finally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Chronic illnesses are difficult to live with; they are also unpredictable and extremely hard for those who live with someone suffering from these diseases.
I am presently at the stage, which is considered the highest level this illness can attain, as it has jeopardized several of my vital organs. Despite that, I’ve learned to live a grateful, active life and just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse… it did! A few months ago, I again cried my soul out to the Lord, asking Him to help me learn to accept a new chronic illness in my life that had just been added to the list.
It took me months, and long rides to go see a physiotherapist every week, to finally have nothing to show for it. Many tears of non-acceptance I poured out to the Lord; I didn’t want to grow in His grace through all that suffering, so that He may be glorified through all this. I knew that the only way I could grow was by going deeper in His Word. I was in so much pain, unwilling to let go…I was un-submissive to God and His will for me. I kept suffering while God kept me in His arms, patiently waiting for me to feel His care.
I was diagnosed with Chronic Pelvic Pain, along with nerve damage. In reality this means that after walking for five minutes, I almost fall down due to pain. For now, no treatment or cure is possible.
After months of prayer and supplications to my Lord, I am still suffering but I have accepted my sufferance and given it to Him. He has granted me the courage to embrace it, and He has given me the capacity to learn to live with the pain with a grateful attitude. Although the situation has not changed, my embracing it has changed my attitude and I am now able to glorify my Lord. This is what the knowledge of the Word of God does in our lives! Amen.
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